Autumn Equinox, as always, offers a significant turning point for me… And this year, as the allure of cosy dark nights by the fire and warm pots of tea begin to call to my soul, I can feel with such tangible clarity the beginning of a new and very beautiful cycle. . After a wildly intense and potent summer, (quite literally burning up in the core of the fire for most of it); the cool autumn winds are so welcome right now, gently guiding me to turn in, take stock and enquire into that which has been harvested within during this time. For years I avoided and disliked the turn towards winter and the darker days. But I have grown to enjoy this turning point so much. The magnetic pull into the darkness feels so seductively wonderful, a returning to source, to the cosmic womb centre; where all of life is created and born. A true Homecoming. . This year’s Homecoming is one that I have longed for, for a long time. Not only does my soul get to enjoy the annual retreat into hibernation, but I get to do it in my new HOME! . I haven’t actually had a home to call my own in a long time. A place I can decorate, fill with love and make my own. After years of adventuring and travelling, the old saying ‘Home is where the Heart is’ just didn’t cut it anymore. This tired and weary body needed a permanent place to rest, to call my own, to ground and create from. The longing for my nest, for my home, had been cutting me deep for a while, but the fact it has taken until now to manifest is no coincidence. . The lack of a physical home was very significant in my own embodied homecoming journey; in fact it was a direct mirror for the strong themes of exile, fragmentation, ancestral healing and core wounding that were present in this time and calling for my attention to come home to. The core feelings of separation, not-belonging and loneliness have been some of the hardest feelings for me to rest with, heart-breathtakingly devastating at times; leaving me no choice but to come face to face with the co-dependent strategies and emotional twists sitting on top of these challenging feelings. It was time to give up the game; at last these avoidance tactics no longer felt worth investing in. How could I manifest a physical home, when I was still rejecting so much of the pain and trauma that existed, still yet unmet, in my own body space? To come home, meant I basically had to stop leaving. Stop abandoning my embodied human reality, no matter how painful it looked. I had to become a trustworthy home for my spirit. Reliable, stable, committed. And for every inch of presence and love I offered my tender human experience, I would take one step closer to the actualisation of my physical home. . The feeling I have right now as I build, paint, clean and create my new home, is that I want to shut the door and never leave! It’s taken some years of excavating through layer after layer of pain and trauma (not to mention endless tears), to get to this point, and its far from over… but right now, MY GOD am I happy! . So looking forward to what may unfold as I finally land in my temple… . Let’s see… For now I’ll be enjoying many more of these sunsets from my living room… . Autumn Blessings to you all
Love Me ❤
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